Intro to Advocacy

 

Advocacy is rooted in love and compassion. Empowerment may just be at the very heart of Advocacy. You will need to learn to navigate health care systems with confidence and resilience. It will empower your loved one and yourself.

Given the medical community, family relationships, and the world in general,  Advocacy is a vital skill that lesbians and all caregivers are going to need.  As caregiver you will actively be speaking up for your loved one's well-being, respect, dignity, and personal wishes.

At some point in time, you will be speaking with all kinds of healthcare professionals who may not listen to you, or try to brush you off because they are too busy at the moment. You're the one who must intervene when the doctor doesn’t seem to be listening to their patient for whatever reason.

You and/or your loved one could come face to face with many issues such as discrimination, cultural bias, and actual barriers to care. Try to recognize the challenges and actively respond to them. Every patient has certain rights. Make sure your loved ones get the treatment they need in a highly dignified manner.

But how do you do this? Through effective Communication. I won't lie, as a lesbian family caregiver, communication has to become your super power. Once you become a caregiver you need to take the written and verbal communication skills you have, then actively work on upping your game.

You will be writing and talking to your family members, your support teams, and all manner of Healthcare Professionals, both in home care and in medical fields, and of course, the local emergency room. As a lesbian you have probably become aware that you sometimes need to be your own self advocate. As primary caregiver you will also become your loved one's advocate.

In close proximity to your role as communicator will be your role as listener. You will be expected by everyone around you to practice active listening.

When working with your loved one you will be looking for clues as to their health status at any given time. Tap into your observation skills. They will become as important as communication and listening.

You will become aware of your loved one’s emotional, mental, and physical states. This is important so that you quickly recognize depression and other negative emotions. Then you can assess whether it is brought on by medications or it is personal.

Depression can be an issue that occurs in long-term health situations. And you will probably be there to witness it.

You will constantly deal with different types of medical professionals. Doctors may be abrupt and dismissive after giving you a short explanation of what's going on. This is where you want to step in and ask questions. You want to find out as much as possible.

You want to be sure the Doctors know your loved one's situations, and that your loved one knows what doctors are saying. You have to make sure that your loved one is always a part of the conversations.

You might consider staying with your loved one at the hospital 24/7. In some places, doctors make their rounds really early in the morning. They come into a room, wake a patient up and discuss their findings. Your loved one isn’t going to remember a word that anyone said to them.

Someone else needs to be there. Sure you can call the nurse's desk for information, but it may take a lot of time before someone gets back to you. And the nursing staff may not know everything that the doctor mentioned. You can ask to have the doctor call you as well.

If you are a lesbian caring for a straight patient, your life status may or may not be known. But be aware that when it is known, there can be some stigma that may follow you.

If your loved one is a lesbian, you may have to actively make sure your loved one gets the care they are entitled to. Remember, communication and advocacy are your overarching superpowers. Eventually medical professionals will begin to listen to you, even if they do so reluctantly.

There is one more issue a caregiver should be aware of. Unfortunately not all medical professionals treat their patients well. If you see mistreatment happening you really need to report it.

Care-giving for family members can be a real challenge. You may have good relationships or you may have a more negative situation where family members have trouble accepting your life choices.

Expect some emotionally heated conversations. Unfortunately, it will be your job to always be the bigger person. Try to de-escalate all negative situations. It will be up to you to remind everyone that their number one priority is the well-being of your family's loved one. It doesn’t matter what issues they have with you because it is not about you. Hopefully your issues will pass without someone actively trying to get in your way.